For the past month or so, I've been trying a new eating strategy. I haven't blogged about it, or even told most people about it, because I recognize that it's a bit silly. And it is. But it's working, so I welcome silly.
Unlike other sweets, chocolate has a power over me. If there is a tray of sweets, and some are chocolate, I NEED those chocolates. I can give or take other sweets, but if there is chocolate in front of me, I really don't have a choice. I must eat it. I can stop eating other sweets after I've had just a bit, but not with chocolate. My name is Kel, and I'm a chocoholic.
To remedy this, I decided that I'm only eating chocolate eight days a year: my birthday, hubs' birthday, our anniversary, valentine's day, two times on vacation, and two other random days of the year.
This has actually been working really well. I'm just not eating chocolate on the other days of the year. It's not an option. I don't need to consider whether or not I "need" that treat. It's not an option. If someone offers me chocolate, I don't feel bad about saying no... because "I'm not eating chocolate right now." Easy.
And somehow, I don't even miss it. Until today...holy cow. The other day hubs and I celebrated our eighth anniversary, which is one of my chocolate days. I had pre-purchased a bag of dark chocolate M&Ms that were calling my name at the store. Yum. That evening, we went out for dinner and had a flourless chocolate mud thing for dessert (we actually went out for a really cheap dinner, and fancy restaurant for dessert and coffee). It was GOOD. The last couple days have been hard though. I just want sugar and chocolate. Oooh, I want sugar and chocolate. I haven't given in, but it's been hard. Chocolate makes me want more chocolate...and just sugar in general. No wonder I created this silly rule for myself.
So, I'm glad that today is a non-chocolate day. I can't handle the chocolate voice in my head that comes afterwards.
Showing posts with label health - for I shall not call it a DIET. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health - for I shall not call it a DIET. Show all posts
Friday, June 15, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
WFMW: Count your salad!
I just re-started tracking my food using the SparkPeople tool. Handy little tracking tool. Anyway, I've been trying to be more diligent in eating more salads. I love big salads...with a little bit of lettuce topped with tons of crunchy veggies. It takes up a huge bowl. Yum.
I put my salad ingredients into the food tracker, and was a little surprised to see that it is about 140 -170 calories (depending on what all I put in it). For 140 calories, I'm eating lettuce, tomatoes, bell peppers, broccoli, cucumber, a few black olives, 1 TB gorgonzola cheese crumbles, and 2 TB lite balsamic vinaigrette. More cheese, nuts, or olives puts it closer to 170.
I don't know about you, but an additional 150 calories to my diet is significant.
In the past, I would plan out my food, but not really count the calories in the salad... all those veggies don't add up to much. Of course, the fiber and nutrients provided by those 150 calories are definitely worth it - I'm not saying you should skip the salad. Just count it! I need to eat less of an entree (or better yet, less of whatever carb-filled side dish there is) and enjoy my 150 calorie salad masterpiece.
My tip this Wednesday? Eat your salad, but count it too!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Following the Father
For some reason, this February, the Father is using alliteration to teach me to follow Him fully. Last night during my Bible study lecture, God laid three words on my heart: food, fitness, and finances. I need to follow my Father faithfully, in my food choices, my fitness needs, and my finances. I wrote them down and knew I'd need them in my memory bank for later.
Somehow, with the help of the alliteration, I remembered to pray for strength this morning (to get up and go to the gym), rather than postponing it another day. I often give into the temptation (to eat another sweet treat, or go back to sleep, or buy some needless thing/food) before I remember that I'm even wanting to not do these things. I do it before even remembering to pray or ask for help.
This morning I woke up and was so sleepy. Thoughts of going back to sleep danced in my head...luring me back. The mental debate began.
Pillow is so soft. I love bed. I can go to the gym tomorrow. I won't have very long to workout anyway, so it's not really going to make a big difference. Mmmm...bed. No, stop it. I was supposed to remember three things. What were they? Think... What were they? Ugh... too tired. Oh yeah - food, fitness, finances. Oh yeah. Alright God - wake me up - this has to be you. I want to glorify YOU in my food, fitness, and financial choices. And I can't do that laying in bed every morning.
And it worked. Up I went. I made us breakfast and headed to the gym. It was only a meager 15 minutes of cardio, and 10 minutes of strength training, but that was so much more than...staying in bed.
What a personal God I have. He knows my sleepy mental debates and my sleep-filled temptations. Somehow He knows that alliteration will help me remember Him in the morning.
I've been repeating these words today. When I wanted a sweet treat, I thought...what were they again? Oh yeah: food, fitness, finances. No sweet treat, but no deprived feeling either - just thanks to God for the self-control the Spirit gives us.
Somehow, with the help of the alliteration, I remembered to pray for strength this morning (to get up and go to the gym), rather than postponing it another day. I often give into the temptation (to eat another sweet treat, or go back to sleep, or buy some needless thing/food) before I remember that I'm even wanting to not do these things. I do it before even remembering to pray or ask for help.
This morning I woke up and was so sleepy. Thoughts of going back to sleep danced in my head...luring me back. The mental debate began.
Pillow is so soft. I love bed. I can go to the gym tomorrow. I won't have very long to workout anyway, so it's not really going to make a big difference. Mmmm...bed. No, stop it. I was supposed to remember three things. What were they? Think... What were they? Ugh... too tired. Oh yeah - food, fitness, finances. Oh yeah. Alright God - wake me up - this has to be you. I want to glorify YOU in my food, fitness, and financial choices. And I can't do that laying in bed every morning.
And it worked. Up I went. I made us breakfast and headed to the gym. It was only a meager 15 minutes of cardio, and 10 minutes of strength training, but that was so much more than...staying in bed.
What a personal God I have. He knows my sleepy mental debates and my sleep-filled temptations. Somehow He knows that alliteration will help me remember Him in the morning.
I've been repeating these words today. When I wanted a sweet treat, I thought...what were they again? Oh yeah: food, fitness, finances. No sweet treat, but no deprived feeling either - just thanks to God for the self-control the Spirit gives us.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Insto Diet Success
I hadn't weighed myself since I moved houses...several weeks ago. I knew it had gone up - we ate out a lot while moving, and then came Christmas...and the fudge and the cookies and the pie. The mirror told me I had gained weight - there was some scary stuff going on there. Really. I didn't want to weigh myself again until a bit after Christmas and I could start eating healthfully again. The crazy eating ends the night of my birthday. My 2007 goal is to lose 13 pounds. Several of which, I think are gifts from December, but definitely not all of it. About 10 of it is the last 10 from from my long weightloss journey. I lost 25 pounds several years ago, still needed to lose 5-10 more, then gained a few back. Anyway...
I've been eating much better this week, and jumping on my little trampoline. I still thought the mirror was a bit of a fright, although, I still see myself as 20 pounds heavier...from many years ago. My eyes aren't trustworthy in that respect.
I signed up yesterday at SparkPeople, a free online service that creates meal plans, workout plans, and weight trackers, etc. for you for FREE. I haven't used it before, so I can't tell you if it's good or not, but since it's free, I thought I'd give it a try. (Ok...just using the site now - their food thing isn't going to work for me, but it does look like a good place to put in daily goals and track progress.) I needed to enter my beginning weight. This morning I found the box that had the scale in it and hopped on. I was 3-4 pounds lighter than I expected!!! Yahoo!
That means that I'm already 3 pounds down for my 2007 goal! Only 10 to go. =) This is the fastest weight-loss ever!
I've been eating much better this week, and jumping on my little trampoline. I still thought the mirror was a bit of a fright, although, I still see myself as 20 pounds heavier...from many years ago. My eyes aren't trustworthy in that respect.
I signed up yesterday at SparkPeople, a free online service that creates meal plans, workout plans, and weight trackers, etc. for you for FREE. I haven't used it before, so I can't tell you if it's good or not, but since it's free, I thought I'd give it a try. (Ok...just using the site now - their food thing isn't going to work for me, but it does look like a good place to put in daily goals and track progress.) I needed to enter my beginning weight. This morning I found the box that had the scale in it and hopped on. I was 3-4 pounds lighter than I expected!!! Yahoo!
That means that I'm already 3 pounds down for my 2007 goal! Only 10 to go. =) This is the fastest weight-loss ever!
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Eat a snickers bar!
Function over fashion ladies. Now, I want to lose...13 pounds, like so many of us, BUT comfort and tastebuds shall win every time. Seriously - eat a snickers bar or something! Or at least a carrot!
Maybe I'm a horrible person, but I find this to be really funny...rather disturbing, but really funny.
From Diet-Blog: Dieting Girls Cause Subway Delays
The number 3 cause of train delays (between October 2005 and October 2006) in New York is a "sick customer". It turns out that most "sick customers" are girls who are on starvation diets and end up fainting on the train. "You have women trying to get their bodies tight for the summer and they won't eat," said Asim Nelson, a Transit emergency medical technician based in Grand Central Station. (src)An average of 395 delays per month are caused by sick customers. This, of course, includes any kind of event resulting from sickness (such as flu). However, anecdotal evidence from the MTA (Metropolitan Transportation Authority) suggests that fainting girls are the most common occurrence.
Maybe I'm a horrible person, but I find this to be really funny...rather disturbing, but really funny.
From Diet-Blog: Dieting Girls Cause Subway Delays
The number 3 cause of train delays (between October 2005 and October 2006) in New York is a "sick customer". It turns out that most "sick customers" are girls who are on starvation diets and end up fainting on the train. "You have women trying to get their bodies tight for the summer and they won't eat," said Asim Nelson, a Transit emergency medical technician based in Grand Central Station. (src)An average of 395 delays per month are caused by sick customers. This, of course, includes any kind of event resulting from sickness (such as flu). However, anecdotal evidence from the MTA (Metropolitan Transportation Authority) suggests that fainting girls are the most common occurrence.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Lunch - Day one
Lunch - day one at the beach.
If nothing else, it's very pretty. Thankfully, it tasted super yummy too.
If nothing else, it's very pretty. Thankfully, it tasted super yummy too.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Going to the beach
Tomorrow starts a new way of eating - hubs and I are starting the south beach diet... well, I am anyway, we'll see how long hubs stays committed. I think he's really doing it so I don't have to go way out of my way to make him different food. I've got a bit of extra fluff that I'd like to remove, and I'm really excited about this plan. It sounds so...reasonable.
I know it will be hard though, especially at first. It will keep me disciplined to cooking healthy meals, and extra planning. I've gotten into a lunchtime rut of PB&J, and now I'll have to prepare real food, which will be good but challenging. Today's grocery bill was a bit shocking (ok, a lot shocking) as I totally over-bought groceries to make up for the looming fear of being hungry and not having any snack food to eat. So, I bought food for a month (perhaps a slight exaggeration). In coming weeks, I'll need to figure how to plan good SBD meals that work economically too. It will come... in time. There's a good likelihood that I'll need to buy nothing but produce for a couple weeks anyway. =)
Related but not.... I am completely and totally tired of the red team winning on TBL. They are whiney and mean. The good people should win out in the end, shouldn't they?? I love Bob and the blue team - go blue!
I know it will be hard though, especially at first. It will keep me disciplined to cooking healthy meals, and extra planning. I've gotten into a lunchtime rut of PB&J, and now I'll have to prepare real food, which will be good but challenging. Today's grocery bill was a bit shocking (ok, a lot shocking) as I totally over-bought groceries to make up for the looming fear of being hungry and not having any snack food to eat. So, I bought food for a month (perhaps a slight exaggeration). In coming weeks, I'll need to figure how to plan good SBD meals that work economically too. It will come... in time. There's a good likelihood that I'll need to buy nothing but produce for a couple weeks anyway. =)
Related but not.... I am completely and totally tired of the red team winning on TBL. They are whiney and mean. The good people should win out in the end, shouldn't they?? I love Bob and the blue team - go blue!
Goodbye, oh lovely cookie dough. May you lose all power over me.
(But doesn't it look sooooo good?? Drooling on my keyboard...)
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Thank you, thank you very much!
I must be feeling rather bloggy today - 4 posts in one day! Crazy! Ok, I think it's that I really feel like talking, but hubs doesn't. I think that's because he's super tired because I've been up half the night the last two nights, so he hasn't slept well. Anyway...
I'm super cool. I FINALLY got off my tush and ran. I only went for two miles (thought I'd ease back into it after 11 days off), and I ran really fast for the first mile. I just calculated it and I ran my two miles at a 10.3 minute mile. I think that's a record for me! I can hear the fans cheering! Hurray - go me! For me, that is FAST.
So, today I rock because I went running after I put it off all evening AND I ran super duper fast.
I'm super cool. I FINALLY got off my tush and ran. I only went for two miles (thought I'd ease back into it after 11 days off), and I ran really fast for the first mile. I just calculated it and I ran my two miles at a 10.3 minute mile. I think that's a record for me! I can hear the fans cheering! Hurray - go me! For me, that is FAST.
So, today I rock because I went running after I put it off all evening AND I ran super duper fast.
Frankenstein
Today is the day to start running again. I don't really feel like it right now, but I have to. I HAVE to because something freakish is happening to my body.
I was gone boating last week (9 days) and didn't get to run, I figured I start up again when I got back home and things got back to normal. However, something happened the last two nights that tells me that I have permanently messed up my body, turning it into a running frankenstein. The last two nights, I was tired after work, but as it got later and later, I couldn't sleep at all. Not at all. None. I was just silly and antsy instead. That's not me - I'm the one who falls asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Insomnia is not an option. I'm way tired in the morning, take no naps, but then come sleep time, I just have too much energy inside.
This probably sounds stupid, but it's really a problem! Last night I was fully awake until about 2:30 am, for the second night in a row. I got to read all the back posts from my favorite blogs during vacation, but 6am comes awfully quickly. I noticed this once a few weeks ago when I hadn't gone jogging. My body just had more energy than it was used to and I couldn't sleep, and here it's happening again. It's horrible!
So...tonight I must go jogging. If for no other reason than I want to sleep tonight!
Sleepy,
kel
I was gone boating last week (9 days) and didn't get to run, I figured I start up again when I got back home and things got back to normal. However, something happened the last two nights that tells me that I have permanently messed up my body, turning it into a running frankenstein. The last two nights, I was tired after work, but as it got later and later, I couldn't sleep at all. Not at all. None. I was just silly and antsy instead. That's not me - I'm the one who falls asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Insomnia is not an option. I'm way tired in the morning, take no naps, but then come sleep time, I just have too much energy inside.
This probably sounds stupid, but it's really a problem! Last night I was fully awake until about 2:30 am, for the second night in a row. I got to read all the back posts from my favorite blogs during vacation, but 6am comes awfully quickly. I noticed this once a few weeks ago when I hadn't gone jogging. My body just had more energy than it was used to and I couldn't sleep, and here it's happening again. It's horrible!
So...tonight I must go jogging. If for no other reason than I want to sleep tonight!
Sleepy,
kel
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Choosing the mood
My night has taken a turn towards yuckiness (really fun mysterious marital spat. I'm honestly not sure why he's mad... but that's a whole other discussion), so I decided I'd post again and think about all the great things that have been happening in my life lately - because there are a lot!
- Biggest recent highlight: the marathon relay was sunday and I completed the 8 mile leg. It's shocking! I'm so proud of myself.
- I got a medal for completing the marathon relay. It's my first medal and I'm so excited!
- I'm being completely brave and have just officially registered to run a half marathon on October. I think I've gone crazy. Who am I? How on earth am I going to do that? I know I finished 8 miles on Sunday, but it just about killed me (well, the first 5 uphill miles... 5-8 were pretty good... but STILL).
- I discovered peppermint tea and have been drinking a ton of it. I just love the idea of drinking tea, it sounds really peaceful, so I'm glad that I found a tea I love. A cup of peppermint tea with a piece of chocolate is a bit too yummy.
- I get to go to church again on Sunday. I miss it! I was gone for 2 sundays on vacation, and then this last sunday was race day. I can't wait to go back! And, in one of the next couple sundays we're going to officially become members of the church. It had to be postponed while husband was traveling and then we were gone.
- I love that I'm excited to go to church. I hope I always love church this much.
Ok... that's it for now. I think I need to go apologize for something. Oh - last great thing: tomorrow is FRIDAY - yahoo!!!!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
New Month, New Day
For some reason, May is always a hard month for me. I think it started in my junior year in high school, when May gave me two car accidents, a speeding ticket, a cop who pulled me over to meet his holiday weekend quote (seriously, he told me that), and my first detention ever, which was given to make me an example for the other AP students. I was just praying for May to end. This May has also been hard. Not quite THAT bad, but just hard. Work has been hard. Home life is hard: husband is preparing to be gone for several different trips for 5 weeks straight - leaving tomorrow. May was filled with a lot of anxiety and general too-busyness. My Bible study for the year ended in May. I was glad for the break, but also so sad to have it end. I was loving my study of Genesis - Jacob and Joseph became my friends. I'm nervous about staying the Word this summer, which is absolutely needed, but hard and not my natural, fallen desire. On top of it all, I really don't like my current body with its extra padding, and I'm really nervous about getting ready (shopping!) for husband's graduation activities and following vacation. I have no summer clothes that fit. No shorts. When I've been over-weight in the past, I always feel like I look better in fall/winter clothes - I can hide in them, but not in summer clothes.
But it's June now. May is over. It's time for a plan. Stop the whining! I don't have solutions for all of it, by any means, but worrying about it isn't going to help.
First, I've signed up for a new weight-loss program online. I'm changing my eating and working out 5 days a week. I've been jogging regularly, but haven't been back in the gym for strength training since before my India trip. The new program gives me a detailed workout to do each day, so I just take it to the gym and do what it tells me. I did it the other day and am so sore now. I can't remember the last time that I did a workout on my own (no trainer) and ended up sore! Not that being sore is good, but I am pretty impressed that I managed to do an hour long work out that made my body WORK!
Husband and I are going shopping tonight, and I've got a couple other times noted in the next few weeks that will be perfect for shopping. I hope I'll find a few things that will work. It is what it is, so I just need to find some clothes that fit and I'm comfortable in.
I actually got out my Bible yesterday and started reading Colossians. I think I'm actually nervous to read it after my Bible study. As if there was a way to fail at reading the bible. I'm so weird. I know God has something He would like to teach me this summer, so I just need to do what I can to learn it.
Ok, I have to go now to go to the gym, then go for a jog (hopefully with a rollerblading husband w/ me), then choir practice at church (special dedication service tomorrow afternoon, so there is a special choir for that), then an afternoon/evening of shopping. Fun! An, as a special gift from God, it is beautifully sunny today. Because It is all going to be ok, and my Father knows exactly what I need and when and He will provide it.
But it's June now. May is over. It's time for a plan. Stop the whining! I don't have solutions for all of it, by any means, but worrying about it isn't going to help.
First, I've signed up for a new weight-loss program online. I'm changing my eating and working out 5 days a week. I've been jogging regularly, but haven't been back in the gym for strength training since before my India trip. The new program gives me a detailed workout to do each day, so I just take it to the gym and do what it tells me. I did it the other day and am so sore now. I can't remember the last time that I did a workout on my own (no trainer) and ended up sore! Not that being sore is good, but I am pretty impressed that I managed to do an hour long work out that made my body WORK!
Husband and I are going shopping tonight, and I've got a couple other times noted in the next few weeks that will be perfect for shopping. I hope I'll find a few things that will work. It is what it is, so I just need to find some clothes that fit and I'm comfortable in.
I actually got out my Bible yesterday and started reading Colossians. I think I'm actually nervous to read it after my Bible study. As if there was a way to fail at reading the bible. I'm so weird. I know God has something He would like to teach me this summer, so I just need to do what I can to learn it.
Ok, I have to go now to go to the gym, then go for a jog (hopefully with a rollerblading husband w/ me), then choir practice at church (special dedication service tomorrow afternoon, so there is a special choir for that), then an afternoon/evening of shopping. Fun! An, as a special gift from God, it is beautifully sunny today. Because It is all going to be ok, and my Father knows exactly what I need and when and He will provide it.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Trials and Success
Part one: A continuation of my recent debate (how to know when a trial is a trial?)...
After talking with several Christian friends, getting counsel from my pastor, and confirmation from my Bible study, I think I have a bit of an answer... sort of. It seems that a great place to start is to determine if you are really in absolute obedience everywhere else in your life. The "trial" might just be God's way of trying to get your attention, with a big arrow pointing at that other thing. Of course, if you truly are in obedience everywhere else, then the "trial" may probably be a real trial, which you need to endure with absolute faith. I have to say that my pastor was great here. Looking at other areas of obedience/disobedience can be difficult when you are in the middle of it, you may not be objective enough. He was really able to see the forest through the trees, while I am busy climbing trees. I'm not sure what that metaphor means, but I like it.
Part two: Social experiments in the rain...
I went jogging today and it was fantastic. A personal best. I jogged for one hour straight, about 4.5 miles. Granted, a 13 minute mile is not very fast at all, but I'm going for endurance here. An hour is the longest I've ever gone at one stretch - no walking at all. This is hobby is putting me at risk of great pride - I think I'm just about the coolest jogger in the world right now. AN HOUR!!! I'm pretty sure I can do anything right now. Roar!
My husband (who wishes to remain nameless, funny guy...although I've remained nameless, so I suppose I don't blame him) came rollerblading with me and at about 40 minutes into it, he went back to the car and was going to drive back to pick me up further down the path. We were jogging on the Cedar River trail and were well past the Maple Valley golf course, so it gets pretty...empty along the road. About 10 minutes into my solitude, it started sprinkling, and then more sprinkling. I loved it. I don't think I've ever jogged in the rain before. It was a beautiful spring sprinkle. And then it got heavier and heavier. I didn't really have much choice, so I just decided to find the humor in it and I thought it was pretty funny. Thankfully, I had a hat on, so I really wasn't getting that wet. When I was just coming up to my hour mark, there was an intersection ahead that I was supposed to wait at (very convenient location too... we didn't know that it would line up so well with my time). I was getting extremely wet at this point....it was RAINING. God is so good - Steve told me to wait at the next intersection, which happened to be this one, which happened to be at the hour mark, and just happened to have a big tree just inside the turn. Shelter! It actually was a big driveway to a trailer park. It wasn't too ghetto or anything. So, I waited in the rain under the big tree at the trailer park. As I waited, I noticed that there were lots of nice cars coming in and out - for some reason these trailer park people had nice cars. Lots of minivans and other family cars. I realized this was a great social experiment. What would you do if you were driving by a young woman who is alone, wearing jogging clothes, on a jogging trail, in the pouring rain, and hiding under a big tree? There are no parking lots nearby. We are sort of in the middle of no where. I was a little surprised that not one person stopped to ask if I was ok, needed help, needed a ride, or even just needed to use their cell phone. Not one. I thought that was pretty sad. We've let our fear of strangers get in the way of social decency, I think. I very easily could have really been stranded, since it was sunny when I left. I wonder if I would have stopped and asked.
And then I gave the dog a bath by myself. See, I can do anything!
After talking with several Christian friends, getting counsel from my pastor, and confirmation from my Bible study, I think I have a bit of an answer... sort of. It seems that a great place to start is to determine if you are really in absolute obedience everywhere else in your life. The "trial" might just be God's way of trying to get your attention, with a big arrow pointing at that other thing. Of course, if you truly are in obedience everywhere else, then the "trial" may probably be a real trial, which you need to endure with absolute faith. I have to say that my pastor was great here. Looking at other areas of obedience/disobedience can be difficult when you are in the middle of it, you may not be objective enough. He was really able to see the forest through the trees, while I am busy climbing trees. I'm not sure what that metaphor means, but I like it.
Part two: Social experiments in the rain...
I went jogging today and it was fantastic. A personal best. I jogged for one hour straight, about 4.5 miles. Granted, a 13 minute mile is not very fast at all, but I'm going for endurance here. An hour is the longest I've ever gone at one stretch - no walking at all. This is hobby is putting me at risk of great pride - I think I'm just about the coolest jogger in the world right now. AN HOUR!!! I'm pretty sure I can do anything right now. Roar!
My husband (who wishes to remain nameless, funny guy...although I've remained nameless, so I suppose I don't blame him) came rollerblading with me and at about 40 minutes into it, he went back to the car and was going to drive back to pick me up further down the path. We were jogging on the Cedar River trail and were well past the Maple Valley golf course, so it gets pretty...empty along the road. About 10 minutes into my solitude, it started sprinkling, and then more sprinkling. I loved it. I don't think I've ever jogged in the rain before. It was a beautiful spring sprinkle. And then it got heavier and heavier. I didn't really have much choice, so I just decided to find the humor in it and I thought it was pretty funny. Thankfully, I had a hat on, so I really wasn't getting that wet. When I was just coming up to my hour mark, there was an intersection ahead that I was supposed to wait at (very convenient location too... we didn't know that it would line up so well with my time). I was getting extremely wet at this point....it was RAINING. God is so good - Steve told me to wait at the next intersection, which happened to be this one, which happened to be at the hour mark, and just happened to have a big tree just inside the turn. Shelter! It actually was a big driveway to a trailer park. It wasn't too ghetto or anything. So, I waited in the rain under the big tree at the trailer park. As I waited, I noticed that there were lots of nice cars coming in and out - for some reason these trailer park people had nice cars. Lots of minivans and other family cars. I realized this was a great social experiment. What would you do if you were driving by a young woman who is alone, wearing jogging clothes, on a jogging trail, in the pouring rain, and hiding under a big tree? There are no parking lots nearby. We are sort of in the middle of no where. I was a little surprised that not one person stopped to ask if I was ok, needed help, needed a ride, or even just needed to use their cell phone. Not one. I thought that was pretty sad. We've let our fear of strangers get in the way of social decency, I think. I very easily could have really been stranded, since it was sunny when I left. I wonder if I would have stopped and asked.
And then I gave the dog a bath by myself. See, I can do anything!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Amnesia
I think I get amnesia. I tend to forget about things...just get busy doing other things, and it's amazing to me what happens (or doesn't happen) when I don't focus on something. I think that's why I'm always exhausted. My status quo feature doesn't work. So, if I'm not totally focusing on something, I may as well be trying to ruin it.
If I stop focusing on eating healthy, I gain 5 pounds almost instantly. If I stop focusing praying and doing my Bible study, I just start thinking that I'm actually in control of things and just sort of forget about God. If we stop focusing on our yard and home maintenance, we get clogged gutters and massive puddles of standing water on our roof (very shallow slope, although not totally flat).
I think some people can do "status quo" better than I can. I tend to live in the extremes, so unless I'm focusing on staying balanced, there is no balance to be found.
So, I'm back to focusing on my food and exercise. I have to. HAVE TO! Actually, after my panic attack last week about my weight, I lost a whole pound. I was up a couple after Easter (thank you, applie pie and chocolate truffles), so we'll see if it evens out the next couple days.
Today I went back to Bible study today for the first time in a bunch of weeks. When I'm not actively doing my bible study, I think of it as burdensome. It's so much work! But when I'm there or doing it through the week, I'm reminded of how much I love it and how GOOD and FAITHFUL God is. God is so good!
All of this new found re-focusing is very tiring. I'm going to bed.
Good night!
k noel.
If I stop focusing on eating healthy, I gain 5 pounds almost instantly. If I stop focusing praying and doing my Bible study, I just start thinking that I'm actually in control of things and just sort of forget about God. If we stop focusing on our yard and home maintenance, we get clogged gutters and massive puddles of standing water on our roof (very shallow slope, although not totally flat).
I think some people can do "status quo" better than I can. I tend to live in the extremes, so unless I'm focusing on staying balanced, there is no balance to be found.
So, I'm back to focusing on my food and exercise. I have to. HAVE TO! Actually, after my panic attack last week about my weight, I lost a whole pound. I was up a couple after Easter (thank you, applie pie and chocolate truffles), so we'll see if it evens out the next couple days.
Today I went back to Bible study today for the first time in a bunch of weeks. When I'm not actively doing my bible study, I think of it as burdensome. It's so much work! But when I'm there or doing it through the week, I'm reminded of how much I love it and how GOOD and FAITHFUL God is. God is so good!
All of this new found re-focusing is very tiring. I'm going to bed.
Good night!
k noel.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Good Friday?
I've realized that I want to say things on my blog that I really wouldn't usually talk about with some of my friends, and yet, I know my friends will probably be reading my blog. I suppose that's part of the challenge. I'm going to be me. Emotionally naked, I guess. That's the risk. Take it or leave it. I'm generally not too obsessive/compulsive, but I am about my weight. That's me.
I've been depressed since my last posting. Well, that's probably overly dramatic, but too bad. I realized that I've gained back a full half of the weight I lost a long time ago. Half. HALF. That means that if I gain as much weight as I've gained in the last two years, I will be just as chubby as I was to begin with. AGH and NO. I refuse. So, I'm in a sad state. Everything I eat makes me wonder if I'll gain weight, if it will fill me up, or if i will be able to make up for it later in the day. The joy of food is gone. All food is filled with guilt. I hate how I look right now and how my clothes fit. My pants are too tight. All my clothes are too tight. I really just want to crawl into a hole, go to sleep or even just wait in total boredom, and come out 15 pounds thinner. I know 15 pounds isn't a ton, but - for all you judgmental readers - I'm short! That makes a huge difference on me.
I'm going to my husbands graduation (masters) this June. 2 months. I NEED to be thinner. Seriously. I'm panicked that I won't be able to do it.
Anyway...
Tomorrow is Good Friday and Sunday is Easter. I LOVE Easter. It snuck up on me this year and I'm hoping I can keep in mind the whole point of Easter. I'm afraid I might be too busy cleaning and doing things and worrying about food to pay attention. Darn me. I'm really upset with my family about Easter. So far, no one in my family is planning on having an Easter dinner. Steve and I really can't. We'll have both just flown in after being gone for a month and our luggage barfed in our house. Besides, we live quite a bit further south than the rest of the family and they wouldn't want to drive here after church, especially since my dad has to work later that night. I gave my mom a little lecture about Christ's resurrection and how Easter should be more important to us than any other holiday. She's going to call me tomorrow and let me know if there is a dinner anywhere. I can't imagine pizza for Easter dinner, unless I'm in London at Pizza Express. I hate that my CHRISTIAN family is all so whatever about Easter. Hello! And, I hate that my sister made Easter plans with her brother and sister in law (other side) for Easter night. Our family always gets together on Easter so it's annoying to me that she's going to their house. Why not just invite them to be with our family? This has made me really grumpy.
I've got my dog back, and that makes me happy.
I'm too moody tonight. I'm up way too late procrastinating all the things I need to do tomorrow. Good Friday to you.
Tired me. Tired of me?
I've been depressed since my last posting. Well, that's probably overly dramatic, but too bad. I realized that I've gained back a full half of the weight I lost a long time ago. Half. HALF. That means that if I gain as much weight as I've gained in the last two years, I will be just as chubby as I was to begin with. AGH and NO. I refuse. So, I'm in a sad state. Everything I eat makes me wonder if I'll gain weight, if it will fill me up, or if i will be able to make up for it later in the day. The joy of food is gone. All food is filled with guilt. I hate how I look right now and how my clothes fit. My pants are too tight. All my clothes are too tight. I really just want to crawl into a hole, go to sleep or even just wait in total boredom, and come out 15 pounds thinner. I know 15 pounds isn't a ton, but - for all you judgmental readers - I'm short! That makes a huge difference on me.
I'm going to my husbands graduation (masters) this June. 2 months. I NEED to be thinner. Seriously. I'm panicked that I won't be able to do it.
Anyway...
Tomorrow is Good Friday and Sunday is Easter. I LOVE Easter. It snuck up on me this year and I'm hoping I can keep in mind the whole point of Easter. I'm afraid I might be too busy cleaning and doing things and worrying about food to pay attention. Darn me. I'm really upset with my family about Easter. So far, no one in my family is planning on having an Easter dinner. Steve and I really can't. We'll have both just flown in after being gone for a month and our luggage barfed in our house. Besides, we live quite a bit further south than the rest of the family and they wouldn't want to drive here after church, especially since my dad has to work later that night. I gave my mom a little lecture about Christ's resurrection and how Easter should be more important to us than any other holiday. She's going to call me tomorrow and let me know if there is a dinner anywhere. I can't imagine pizza for Easter dinner, unless I'm in London at Pizza Express. I hate that my CHRISTIAN family is all so whatever about Easter. Hello! And, I hate that my sister made Easter plans with her brother and sister in law (other side) for Easter night. Our family always gets together on Easter so it's annoying to me that she's going to their house. Why not just invite them to be with our family? This has made me really grumpy.
I've got my dog back, and that makes me happy.
I'm too moody tonight. I'm up way too late procrastinating all the things I need to do tomorrow. Good Friday to you.
Tired me. Tired of me?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
