i'm back

While most probably haven't noticed, I've been on a blogging break. Really, a life break....enjoying a well needed vacation. Ahhh. Let me say it again: Ahhhhh.

What did I do on vacation?
Sit with sand between my toes, received lots of freckles on my face, laugh while trying to put on unflattering snorkel gear, laugh at the turtles swimming right at me, read two and a half chick-lit books, and the enjoy of lots and lots of sleep.

What did I NOT do on vacation?
Much to my husband's surprise, I did not once check my email or read any blogs. Actually, I didn't get on the internet once.

It ended too soon. I could use about three more weeks of beach time.

I'm back. Pictures to come.

Lovely Life in Lisbon

Two days of health meetings ended yesterday. Five days of nutrition meetings begin tomorrow. One deliciously lovely free day was enjoyed today.

Lovely Lisbon.

Very transparency

One of my favorite movies is "Love Actually" - it's one of the ones I can watch again and again. I love the part where the Colin Firth (does the sentence really need to go any further than that??) who plays Jamie, falls in love with Aurellia... except that he speaks English and she speaks Portuguese. Once their paths separate, they both learn the other language... "just in cases." When he eventually proposes to her (in Portuguese), he explains to her that their love is very transparency. I love that moment. (BTW - this movie is NOT kid-appropriate.)

You'd think that I could speak at least a tiny bit of Portuguese from watching that movie so many times. But no... all I can remember is the broken English version of their words. I wish I had paid more attention.

In about eight hours, a nice man in a shuttle van will come pick me up to take me to the airport. This service is one of the only ways I can guarantee to be at the airport before boarding time. (That is because I don't start packing until 11pm, but anyway...) I will get on an airplane, and 24 hours later (time changes and one layover included), I will get off the plane in Lisbon, Portugal.

I'm blown away at how cool my job is. Seriously. I work for non-profit, so who would have ever thought that I'd get to go to meetings is LISBON!?!?!??! Not I. I never craved travel when I was younger. Yet, I've been so blessed by it, and stretched by it. God has opened my eyes to a much bigger world. I am so thankful. God is so good to me; His love is very transparency.

And, I'm SO thankful for my husband who spent his whole evening tonight, and stayed up WAY too late, putting together a list of things I should see in Lisbon - and their directions. This is especially generous because he doesn't get to go... he did it all for me. =) Thanks honey!

Pictures to come...

PS... the gal who played Aurelia lives in Lisbon. How cool would it be if I met her? Maybe she will teach me some Portuguese.

Map

Fun little map...

For my family who teases me for traveling SOOOOOOO much, I really don't. I've only been to a measly 4% of the world's countries. I wish it gave a % of the states in the US because I think that one would be more impressive. This is filled out, as of next week's trip.

Suffering

One of the things I've been thinking about in my post-trip processing, is the need to correctly understand the suffering for which we are compassionate towards. I think a vastly different culture and lifestyle can easily be confused for suffering; we confuse compassion for what should just be fascination. There are many things about other cultures which are not suffering - they are just different (cooking on the ground, washing clothes by hand in the river, etc.). We tend to believe the lie God's goal for us all is to be comfortable, and our goal for others is that they would have a lifestyle that is as comfortable as ours. Not that we should want people to NOT be comfortable, I just think we tend to use the goal of comfort as an idol, and perhaps much of our own comfort-seeking is sinful. I think it's interesting that many of these lifestyle differences that we see are so similar to how life would have been lived in Jesus' day - and it was just fine and acceptable. These are not things he takes issue with in the Bible.

To clarify my thinking about this, I wanted to define suffering. Is this defined in the Bible anywhere, or just described? I can't think of a specific definition. I was thinking that suffering is the lack of fullness of life that Jesus talks of. So, then I wanted to define "fullness of life" - again, this gets talked of often, but I don't think I've ever heard it defined. This is interesting to me because it needs to be something that only Jesus can truly fulfill, but something we can strive for. So, I was thinking that the fullness of life would be experienced when the effects of sin (broken relationships between people, between people and the earth, and between people and God) are removed and these relationships are restored.

This definition would work (by my thinking) in that only God can fully achieve this, but that we can try to restore these relationships to some extent - as much as we are able in our fallen world. It encompasses both physical and spiritual suffering, but also shows how physical suffering is a spiritual effect.

What do you think of these definitions? Do you think this is right thinking?

goodbye and hello

Goodbye sweet children.

Goodbye yummy mangoes.

Goodbye lovely sunshine.

It's time to go home.

I really am here, just quietly. I'm in the space of confused observation that comes after a trip to a different world. I really do miss my blog, and especially my blog friends, but have gotten into the habit of enjoying the blog world by observation as well. Today, I thought I'd post a simply post, just to get over the hurdle of posting.

I am here.

I got back from Haiti mid last week and it has been a whirlwind. I'm exhausted - not from jetlag (it was only a couple hours away), just from... everything. I've been going through some emotional/spiritual cartwheels, and that takes a lot out of me. Also just physically - I was going non-stop while in Haiti, had one day of down time when I came home, and then back to the office for a thousand meetings for two days. More to come on another day about the emotional/spiritual cartwheels.

And I'll be leaving again soon. While in Haiti, I found out that I need/get to go to some meetings for work in Lisbon, Portugal. Yay! I'm SOOOO excited. I've never been to that part of the world before at all. The only hard part is that I leave in 8 days, which is a bit too soon for my preference. I'm honestly not all the way unpacked and cleaned up from Haiti. I have a ton of personal life things that need to get done....housework (it's in disaster mode), paid work, wedding work for church, bible study work, etc. Plus, I'd really like to catch up with a few friends. I have one friend who just had a baby, and I haven't seen him yet, and another friend who was due yesterday, and although I saw her yesterday, I HAVE to have time to see her and then baby when this child decides it's time to make an appearance.

So, I'm here.

Crazy moment of the day (yesterday): I've been enjoying club soda with lime lately. I really enjoy this while traveling and decided I should drink it at home too, but be warned - I've been told it's disgusting. I got a 2 liter bottle of club soda. Came home. Opened it up. Without even a bit of "hissing" warning, it promptly became a giant spewing fountain of club soda with a 5 foot radius in my kitchen, which included me.

here i am

It takes me a long time to digest my thoughts.



I'm in Haiti. Almost done with the first week and about to begin the second. I don't have any concise thoughts to share yet.



We had a few days visiting projects. So strange to be in such a poor, foreign land with a two hour time difference. So close to home.



When I travel for work, I often feel out of place in my job... so unqualified to really be of any use, peering too closely into people's private lives, seeing their suffering without any effect worthy of the violation. I know good will come out of it eventually...in a round about way, but during the privacy invasion, the round about way just seems too distant. But, the other day, I think I had a small part in saving a little boy's life. He was starving, and now he has a referral to a hospital, which is usually too full, and he will be cared for. He will get food and medicine and be watched carefully. Maybe that would have happened anyway, and maybe he would have gotten food at the distribution next week. But maybe not. At that moment, I was so thankful that I bothered to invade his privacy and enter into his world.

My favorite place is the island of La Gonave, which is the little island off of Haiti's main island. It's a small island, but when you are driving on their "roads" at 5 mph, it is a HUGE island. It is beautiful, but so, so poor. Wonderful people. Part of my heart will stay here for sure. Haiti is beautiful... yet no tourism. It's crazy. Amidst our time visiting hungry children, food distributions, and agriculture projects, we did get to enjoy the beach... I'm in the Caribbean after all. I got to swimming (fully dressed). It was awesome. Seriously awesome. Make a note to yourself - if there is ever a hotel on La Gonanve, you should go.

I'm at a rather vacationy hotel until Tuesday (thank the Lord for working by the pool with rum punch in hand), and then back to the world of dirt and sweat (and no Internet access) until the following Tuesday.

More to come later!

reflections from afar

I'm in Washington DC, the "other" Washington. First, I will tell you that it is bitterly, FREEZING cold here in February. Seriously. AND oh my gosh! It's cold! It did snow the other day, and that was pretty. I was in a hurry as I prepared for this trip, and I didn't think through the logistics very well. I'm taking the metro to the office, and there is a bit of walking involved. Thankfully, I did bring boots (although, walking in the snow with high-heel boots was interesting), pants, a coat, gloves, and a scarf. BUT, my silk long-johns, and a hat would have been beneficial. Really beneficial.

I lived here (well, a bit more in the country...we didn't live down town at all) when I was a child for three years. Eight through eleven. I didn't come back at all until last summer. It's fun to be here again so recently - there is a bit of familiarity in a foreign place.

I become a bit reflective being in a place as an adult where I have childhood memories. I can remember me as a child, but now also remember my parents - and how my current existence is so much like theirs was then. I met a friend for dinner yesterday and was debating if we should meet at the metro stop in Silver Spring or Rockville. It made me pause. My dad used to work in both of those places. To me, "Rockville" and "Silver Spring" mean grown up, mean adult at work, mean impressive adult things happen there. And now I'm taking there metro there to meet a friend. I don't think this happens when you grow up somewhere and stay there. You go through each age, and each experience with the same things around you. As you age, you naturally go places your parents did and do things adults do. Suddenly, you are part of that group, but it doesn't seem sudden or strange at all because you have become part of that group without any drastic observance.

But, when you go back as an adult to a childhood place, there is an abruptness about it. As I put my ticket in the machine at the metro station and wait in the bitter cold, I can't help but think about my dad taking the metro train. He did the same thing. Last night, I waited at the Silver Spring station in the bitter cold for eight minutes (because it was late at night) for the next red-line train to come. I bet that 20 years ago my dad may have waited in that same exact station for his train, complaining abou the bitter cold. Only now, there is a starbucks right next door; the last 20 years has been good to that metro station.

I loved taking going into the city with my parents when I was little. I was in awe of the metro - I thought it was so cool. I bet my dad hated it. He hates crowds. He hates extreme weather. He hates strangers.

I don't remember my parents as adults. I know them now, but as a child, you are so self-centered, that I don't remember them as adult-people. As I become closer to their age that they were when I was young (although, I'm not there yet - I'm now the age that my mom was when she had me), I understand them more. I feel like I know my dad more for having been at his metro stop, waiting in the cold in my nice work clothes.

~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~

Last night, I went out to dinner with an old friend. She was one of the "across the street girls" I lived next to when I was little (and lived out here in the country). I stopped by their house when we were here in the summer and the family was still there. Two of three daughters are back living with the parents for a bit, so we got to talk. They invited us back on the 4th of July, which we happily did. It was so wonderful - a Maryland country 4th of July BBQ. I loved it! She and I have emailed a few times since then, and I was so excited that she wanted to get together when I came out.

What a blessing and a joy. I think we will really be friends, which is so funny. I moved away in 1990 - 17 years ago! And we were little: just finished 5th grade. We used to argue about religion (what 10 year old does that!??). Seriously. Their family is Seventh Day Adventist and mine isn't...and we used to get into theology debates, only we didn't know that's what they were called, and we really didn't know how to do it nicely.

And now? We both work for Christian organizations and are living for God's glory. We got to share a blessing over our food, and share what we are learning in Bible study. We've been brought so far. Not one argument. =) Isn't God good? I guess we were always both a bit passionate.

God is good - whether it's 15 degrees, or 50 degrees, and whether you live in Washington or Washington.

But I'm home now

I'm back home. I didn't miss home too terribly much until I got home. I don't get my dog back until tomorrow night and I really miss my dog.

There's a song by Dido called "Sand in my Shoes" and I love the lyrics. Part of it goes "Two weeks away it feels like the world should've changed / But I'm home now / And things still look the same..." I was gone for two and a half weeks. My life changed and I assume that everything changed. It seems like so much longer than just a couple weeks. I love traveling in late March though because so much happens with our plants here right at that time that when I come home after only being gone for 2.5 weeks, everything really has changed. When I left, it still looked like winter outside. It was cold and rainy, and all the trees were still bare. When I returned it was sunny and warm. The daffodils are up and the trees are pink and flowery. I love it. I love going away on a trip where I feel like I grow personally, and when I come home, everything around me is growing. It makes me feel like they are growing and flowering just for me.

I hated leaving India. I really didn't miss home at that moment. I was excited to see Steve in London, but I really didn't want to leave. Part of it may have been that I don't know when or if I'll ever get to go back and see some of my friends again. I could barely hold back the tears as I said goodbye to everyone.

London was awesome. I love that city. I went to St. Paul's for the first time and was amazed. It was so heavenly. It makes me really amazed as I wonder what heaven will really be like. If humans a thousand years ago were able to dream up Westminster Abbey and St. Paul's cathedral AND build them, I can't even fathom how beautiful heaven will be.

I always figured that monks were always short plump men who were pretty out of shape. However, the monks in charge of going up all the stairs at St. Paul's could not have been too plump or out of shape at all. It is quite a work out! I wondered how many people over the years have died or had a heart attack on those stairs.

Two weeks away it feels like the world should've changed, but I'm home now... and went jogging yesterday and today. I really have 14 pounds I need to lose. I managed to not gain or lose an ounce during my trip, which I'm really satisfied with (given all the pastries and yummies I consumed in London!), but I'm still at a point of needing to shrink a bit. I hate how I look right now. I'd be happy with my size if I had children already and were 40 or 50 years old, but I'm not. This will not do.

Things are getting messy

One of the things I love most about India is that everyone is honestly messy when they eat. I think most Americans are messy too, or at least would be if they ate without thinking so much about staying clean, but in India they don't even try to stay clean. They eat with their hands and you just plan on getting your hands extremely messy. You don't even try to stay remotely clean. Eat with exuberance! At the office, there is an entire washroom that is designated to wash your hands after eating lunch. It's for both men and women and just has three sinks with special soap. I don't know what's different about the washroom soap from the normal bathroom soap, but they use different soap in the hand washing room. I LOVE a place where there is a special washroom to clean your messy hands after lunch.

I did actually order an Indian dinner tonight, thank you very much. I got my hands nice and messy eating dal and naan, with orange fanta of course. Unfortunately, I had to wash my hands in the hotel bathroom since I don't have a specific post-dinner washroom.

Good night / Good morning

Secret India stories

How random is this... the blog posting before this one does not want to be posted. Apparently, the India observations I shared are a secret that I'm not allowed to share. I posted yesterday's post twice. It has deleted itself twice. The first time, the Internet Explorer page I was using just randomly closed and I swear I didn't click anything. Then, I re-typed it all, clicked on "publish post", the screen changed to the next one, and the title is there, but the message is missing. I decided that after two tries, enough is enough and maybe I'm not supposed to tell the world what I was telling the world.

I'm doing well in India. I went shopping tonight again with someone. We didn't quite do what I thought we'd do, but it was an interesting experience in a clothes store. There were SO many people.

In India I feel like a a princess and way more important than I am. Every time I enter a building, the doors open in front of me. In a store, there are numerous people rushing to help me and anticipate what I need. I'm always surrounded by people who simply want to make me happy. It's a bit unsettling. It makes it impossible to just blend in and be an observer.

Good night, or morning, depending on which time zone you are in.

Simply not simple