Happy Autumn

Yesterday was the first official day of Autumn, and the weather is cooperating pretty well. As we went to church is was cloudy and overcast...and cold! Our church was way too cold, but that's a whole other problem. Our house was so cold when I got home; I turned on the heat, the fireplace, lit candles, and put on my sweats and wools socks. In a bit the sky cleared to sunny, crisp autumn day. Today was no different. It's cool but sunny - high of 62.

In order to usher in the new season, and in an effort to decorate SOMETHING in my house (the rest of the projects just feel overwhelmingly big), I put up a couple autumnal decorations. Beautiful. (My front door is red, not pink - if it looks weird on your computer).

Happy Autumn!

Just in time

Just about the time that I start wondering if I'm really pregnant (not just fat), or if I am pregnant, that I might be permanently screwing up my unborn child...it's time for my next midwife appointment. Just in time for some well needed reassurance.

Three awesome things happened at my appointment yesterday. One of them is so awesome that I had to blog about it so I could remember it forever.

First, we heard the heart beat right away. This was just a wonderful blessing because at my last appointment it was a tad early to be hearing the heartbeat and it took about 10 minutes to find. Yesterday, we heard it the moment she put the doplar thingy on my stomach. Yay! And yes, I really truly am pregnant.

Second, my midwife made me feel justified in feeling so huge and needing maternity clothes. I feel like I shouldn't be so big yet...based on some things I've read and other peoples comments. I've had to get over it and just buy clothes that fit, but still - I hate feeling like I'm abnormal or somehow doing this wrong (which I know it totally stupid). Anyway, although I'm 14 weeks along, my uterus is growing fast at this stage (which can be totally normal and should even out soon.... or I'm having twins, but it's most likely that I'm just a fast grower) and it's actually the size of where the average woman is at 18 weeks. Based on that, she thought I was totally normal sized and it made complete sense that I needed new clothes. Justification is really nice.

The last truly awesome thing that happened: while she was feeling around on my tummy, she told me I had great muscle tone on my stomach. My jaw dropped. Let me tell you - that's not a compliment I've ever heard from anyone. Ever. As I regret weighing 10-15 pounds extra to begin with, and now feel like a big blob, that is just a compliment that almost made me cry. Seriously - I almost hugged her. I refrained.... but not from recording it for all time.

I think my appointments should be closer together just for the emotional benefits that come along. (Yes, I know that in a short time they will be really close together and I will probably regret saying that.)

what if?

What if I'm not really pregnant?

What if I've just gotten fatter from eating every two hours, especially from all the ice cream and cookie dough I've been enjoying?

What if I'm now so fat that I'm wearing maternity clothes, when I should just be wearing fat-lady clothes?

By the way, WHY are the clothes at target put in this order: juniors, women's, plus size, maternity??? The maternity clothes are right next to the plus size clothes, and the racks aren't marked well. I already feel like a fat blob, the last thing I want is to be buying plus-size clothes. Maternity clothes might be just as big, and bigger, but it makes it completely better because they are maternity. I swear a man designed the store layout. Idiot.

Well, regardless of WHY I'm wearing maternity clothes, I am. And the angels rejoiced today when I found a fantastically-fitting pair of jean capris at Old Navy for $13.99. No joke - I heard the Hallelujah Chorus in the dressing room, especially since I found a well fitting black top to go with them. For the first time in weeks, I thought I actually looked kind of cute in an outfit. I wanted to hug with check-out girl, but I refrained.

Clothes are hard right now. I'm still in the weird stage where I just look and feel fat, not pregnant, but none of my clothes are fitting. I had one cute pair of black capris I could still wear (to work and to church, bonus) but this Sunday, as my tummy squished out of the top of them and made me feel deformed, I decided that I wouldn't be able to wear them anymore. Darn dryer. I'm mentally ready to just go get an autumn wardrobe of tummy-panels... filled with corduroy and other warm, cozy fabrics, but our current mid-80's temperatures are higher than they were all of August, and I'm going to be in Texas for four or five days soon, where it is even 10 degrees hotter. I've been trying to find a few things I can wear right now, without buying a whole summer wardrobe - in mid September.

Enough complaining. Praise Jesus for my new jean capris, even if I can't wear them to church.

a bit o energy?

I've heard rumor that once in the second trimester, you feel a lot better and get miracle energy. Needless to say, I've spent much of my couch-time dreaming of miracle energy.

I don't think it's fully here yet, since I'm still requiring about 10 hours of sleep per night, but I'm hoping that I, at 12.5 weeks of pregnancy, have found the edge of this new stage. I think I might have. Until now, I bemoaned the the layer grime in my home and complete disorganization while laying on the couch, with no energy to really think about it for too long, let alone do anything about it.

Until Wednesday. I don't know whether it was energy found on the beach during vacation, or whether I'm teetering on the edge of miracle energy.

On Wednesday, I vacuumed. Shouldn't be a big deal, but let me tell you, I think the dog was even tired of laying on the dog-hair-covered carpet. Yesterday, I cleaned off my desk in my real office (like, with cleaner) and moved my work stuff from my couch workstation to my desk workstation. Oh and yesterday, I did laundry. It's still in the dryer, but hey - it's clean. Today, I'm tackling the biggie - the bathroom. I'm taking it slow, with blogging breaks in between steps because I'm probably not supposed to be using some of these cleaners. I'm using the milder ones instead of the strongest ones, and have fans on. Oh, and I'm saving the shower for the once-a-month cleaning lady we're going to be getting soon. I only have to be reminded of the shower grimy-ness once a day for the couple minutes that I'm coherent during my shower.

If nothing else, I can sleep better knowing that the house isn't quite so toxic.

i'm back

While most probably haven't noticed, I've been on a blogging break. Really, a life break....enjoying a well needed vacation. Ahhh. Let me say it again: Ahhhhh.

What did I do on vacation?
Sit with sand between my toes, received lots of freckles on my face, laugh while trying to put on unflattering snorkel gear, laugh at the turtles swimming right at me, read two and a half chick-lit books, and the enjoy of lots and lots of sleep.

What did I NOT do on vacation?
Much to my husband's surprise, I did not once check my email or read any blogs. Actually, I didn't get on the internet once.

It ended too soon. I could use about three more weeks of beach time.

I'm back. Pictures to come.