Amnesia

I think I get amnesia. I tend to forget about things...just get busy doing other things, and it's amazing to me what happens (or doesn't happen) when I don't focus on something. I think that's why I'm always exhausted. My status quo feature doesn't work. So, if I'm not totally focusing on something, I may as well be trying to ruin it.

If I stop focusing on eating healthy, I gain 5 pounds almost instantly. If I stop focusing praying and doing my Bible study, I just start thinking that I'm actually in control of things and just sort of forget about God. If we stop focusing on our yard and home maintenance, we get clogged gutters and massive puddles of standing water on our roof (very shallow slope, although not totally flat).

I think some people can do "status quo" better than I can. I tend to live in the extremes, so unless I'm focusing on staying balanced, there is no balance to be found.

So, I'm back to focusing on my food and exercise. I have to. HAVE TO! Actually, after my panic attack last week about my weight, I lost a whole pound. I was up a couple after Easter (thank you, applie pie and chocolate truffles), so we'll see if it evens out the next couple days.

Today I went back to Bible study today for the first time in a bunch of weeks. When I'm not actively doing my bible study, I think of it as burdensome. It's so much work! But when I'm there or doing it through the week, I'm reminded of how much I love it and how GOOD and FAITHFUL God is. God is so good!

All of this new found re-focusing is very tiring. I'm going to bed.

Good night!
k noel.