Saturday, June 03, 2006

New Month, New Day

For some reason, May is always a hard month for me. I think it started in my junior year in high school, when May gave me two car accidents, a speeding ticket, a cop who pulled me over to meet his holiday weekend quote (seriously, he told me that), and my first detention ever, which was given to make me an example for the other AP students. I was just praying for May to end. This May has also been hard. Not quite THAT bad, but just hard. Work has been hard. Home life is hard: husband is preparing to be gone for several different trips for 5 weeks straight - leaving tomorrow. May was filled with a lot of anxiety and general too-busyness. My Bible study for the year ended in May. I was glad for the break, but also so sad to have it end. I was loving my study of Genesis - Jacob and Joseph became my friends. I'm nervous about staying the Word this summer, which is absolutely needed, but hard and not my natural, fallen desire. On top of it all, I really don't like my current body with its extra padding, and I'm really nervous about getting ready (shopping!) for husband's graduation activities and following vacation. I have no summer clothes that fit. No shorts. When I've been over-weight in the past, I always feel like I look better in fall/winter clothes - I can hide in them, but not in summer clothes.

But it's June now. May is over. It's time for a plan. Stop the whining! I don't have solutions for all of it, by any means, but worrying about it isn't going to help.

First, I've signed up for a new weight-loss program online. I'm changing my eating and working out 5 days a week. I've been jogging regularly, but haven't been back in the gym for strength training since before my India trip. The new program gives me a detailed workout to do each day, so I just take it to the gym and do what it tells me. I did it the other day and am so sore now. I can't remember the last time that I did a workout on my own (no trainer) and ended up sore! Not that being sore is good, but I am pretty impressed that I managed to do an hour long work out that made my body WORK!

Husband and I are going shopping tonight, and I've got a couple other times noted in the next few weeks that will be perfect for shopping. I hope I'll find a few things that will work. It is what it is, so I just need to find some clothes that fit and I'm comfortable in.

I actually got out my Bible yesterday and started reading Colossians. I think I'm actually nervous to read it after my Bible study. As if there was a way to fail at reading the bible. I'm so weird. I know God has something He would like to teach me this summer, so I just need to do what I can to learn it.

Ok, I have to go now to go to the gym, then go for a jog (hopefully with a rollerblading husband w/ me), then choir practice at church (special dedication service tomorrow afternoon, so there is a special choir for that), then an afternoon/evening of shopping. Fun! An, as a special gift from God, it is beautifully sunny today. Because It is all going to be ok, and my Father knows exactly what I need and when and He will provide it.

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