Supersize me?

I don't know what size I wear. I think that's strange. I'm 27 years old and it's a little traumatic to try on clothes. Actually, it's not a big deal at nicer stores where they let you take the whole store into the dressing room. It's really stressful to me at stores where there's a 6 item limit. I feel the need to take 2-3 sizes of everything I want to try on into the dressing room with me. It's been about 3 years since I got to my lowest weight and have been in a 10 pound range since then...this shouldn't be rocket science.

Today I went to the mall today to buy new shorts or pants to jog in. My pre-jogging workout pants and shorts just aren't good enough. I found a pair that I thought would probably work well, and I really had no clue what size would fit me. I generally think it will be a really big size, but I also know I've been tricked before. At some (adult) women's store, I wear a small, which I think it's a bit wacky since I know lots of people smaller than me. I always wonder what they wear, or what I'll wear when I lose 12 pounds, if I'm wearing a small now. At some teenager stores, I wear an extra large. So, I never know. It wouldn't be a problem except that at the 6-item limit dressing rooms, I can only take a few items in. It's really annoying.

Of course, when I tried on the shorts, the small shorts fit just fine. I was a little bit more comfortable in the mediums, but I could have gone with the smalls if I wanted to. I never tried on the larges. Why do I even feel the need to take the large shorts into the dressing room?

All this to say... I do wonder how long it will take before I really understand what size I am. Since I know that my self-perception of my size is a little tweaky, I have to wonder how messed up it really is. I know what I think I look like, but I wonder how other people see me. I guess I'll never know...at least for a while anyway. Maybe a few more years.